"I can't pull my phone out and say, ‘Hang on let me check what Dr. Jazmine says I should do in this situation as your mom.'"
“Ain’t that the truth!” I thought as I read one of the survey responses from a fellow TMP Times member.
I’ve also never heard the struggle described so perfectly.
This mom isn’t saying she doesn't know enough or that she doesn’t study. She knows plenty. She's read the books. She follows the accounts. She probably knows more about child development than most of her mom friends.
What she's basically describing is the specific, maddening experience of having all the right information and watching it completely disappear the moment you need it most.
I had my own version of this on Mother's Day (out of all days!).
My girls were overtired and giggly. They weren’t melting down or anything, just completely checked out from what I was asking them to do. Laughing with each other, lost in their own little world, totally unbothered by the fact that I was standing there asking them to go upstairs for the 15th time.
In that moment I remember reminding myself of what I should do. Slow down, get close, hand on a shoulder, lower my voice, validate the play, and redirect gently. I could narrate the whole script. Yet, in the moment, none of it was available to me.
So, I threw up my hands and handed it to my husband.
It was Mother's Day and in the back of my mind I genuinely thought: Everyone should just know how to cooperate today. Which, as a psychologist, I am fully aware is not how children work. 😂
Here's what this moment reflected back to me: My tank was already empty before I even started the bedtime routine. The giggling wasn't the problem. The giggling was just the thing that finally tipped it.
No amount of knowing the right script was going to help me once I was already past my edge.
Knowing information and being able to access it in the moment (and use it) are two completely different things, and nobody talks about why.
