On backtalk, the trigger underneath it, and the mid-spiral pivot that actually works.
Last week I posted something on Threads that I thought was a pretty standard reframe.
"Say it with me: My child arguing with me isn't disrespect. It's a sign they believe their voice matters in this house. That's what I wanted."
To my surprise, it garnered the attention of hundreds of thousands of parents and within the first day, I’d received 150+ comments. Now as a writer on the Internet for the past 7 years now, I’ve posted a lot of things but this one hit differently because of the comments from parents.
Mom after mom was saying some version of this:
"Yes. I agree. This is exactly what I wanted. AND it's driving me absolutely insane."
"Okay but how do I STOP the arguing after we've both repeated the same thing FIFTY ELEVEN MILLION TIMES?"
"Ugh. Fine. I'm glad for it, but sometimes I just want the garbage taken out without debating first."
"Maybe if I say it enough and click my heels 3 times it'll stop pissing me off." (my personal fav. 😂)
These comments made me sit with something I hadn't fully said in the original post.
It’s kinda like I gave you the first half of the truth and the comments wrote the second half.
After reading this week's issue, you'll know:
- Why your child's pushback is (usually) a sign of attachment, not disrespect AND why it can still make your jaw tighten
- The difference between being triggered by what your child said and being triggered by how they said it (and why both are real)
- The uninvited thought that shows up in your head mid-spiral. You know, the one that sounds nothing like the parent you're trying to be
- The Flip the Script™ move that lets you course-correct in the middle of losing it, instead of needing to be perfect from the start
- Scripts for what to say OUT LOUD to yourself, in front of your kids, when the tight tone is already coming out of your mouth
Let's get into it.
