There’s a version of me that shows up in the mornings I don’t particularly like.
She’s sharp. Rushed. Repeating herself. She’s got a mental checklist in her head and a stopwatch in her chest.
Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Put on your sunscreen. Again. Again. Again.
It’s like my calm voice clocks out and this more... urgent version of me clocks in. She means well. She wants things to run smoothly. But she pushes. She hovers. She nags.
At home we call her “Nagging Nancy” - the outer version of the inner “Negative Nancy” voice I try to help my kids recognize. (Apologies to all the Nancys out there! We say it lovingly, I promise.)
This part of me believes that if I don’t stay on top of everything, it’ll all fall apart.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned, slowly and painfully:
My reminders don’t make mornings run smoother.
They just make them louder.
And in the process, I lose connection with my kids. I stop trusting them. And I stop liking the version of myself I become.
This newsletter was inspired by a recent question I received inside my coaching membership, TMP University. M. bravely shared that every morning, she finds herself in the same exhausting dance with her 9-year-old daughter. She has started to notice that her reminders come one after another, her voice getting sharper each time, until she's yelling and feeling terrible about it.
"If I don't remind her, she'll just skip to getting dressed and go downstairs," M. explained, frustration evident in her voice. "She'll skip all the hygiene stuff. I have to be the one to constantly nag, or it won't get done."
Here's what struck me about this moment:
She knows what mom wants. She's just not motivated to do it because it feels like mom's agenda, not hers.
If this sounds familiar, then this newsletter is for you!
After Reading This, You’ll Walk Away With:
- A new way to understand your child’s morning resistance (it’s not defiance, I promise. It’s actually a bid for ownership)
- Powerful scripts that shift your child from passive compliance to internal motivation
- A clear visual tool (printable) to help your child take charge of their hygiene routine without constant reminders
- A psychological reframe that turns morning chaos into a chance to build trust and independence
- Relief from the guilt of nagging and the pressure to be perfect
Knowing this will help you stop the power struggle cycle, rebuild connection in your mornings, and raise a child who doesn’t just follow rules - they actually understand and care about them.
