I've been thinking a lot about my kids this holiday season.
About how much STUFF they have. How different their childhood is from mine. How they've never known what it's like to worry about money or food or keeping the heat or lights on.
I have vivid memories of playing Jenga in the dark next to a candle because my mom couldn’t afford to pay the light bill that month. Searching the parking lot for coupons just so we could afford a meal that night.
Now as a parent, I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude that my children won’t ever have these memories mixed with a hint of worry, “Am I raising spoiled, entitled kids?”
I look around at the materialism everywhere (especially this time of year) - all of the ads, the Amazon boxes, the "I want this" lists and I think: How do I raise compassionate, giving humans in THIS?
I felt it when they were toddlers, ripping through gifts so fast they barely paused to look at what they'd opened. (I know it was just excitement and impulsiveness - not ungratefulness - but in the moment, it’s still concerning to witness).
I feel it when I see the playroom overflowing with toys they don't even play with and their beds overflowing with stuffed animals.
I feel it when they complain about being "bored" despite having more than I ever dreamed of as a kid.
Underneath all of that is this bigger question: Am I teaching them what my mom taught me?
My mom raised me and my sister with very little. Yet, she made sure I understood something critical: When you have less, you understand what it means to give.
So here's what I've realized:
That's not their fault. It's not a character flaw. They just haven't seen enough of the world yet.
And that's something I can change.
Here's what you'll learn in this issue:
- Why that twinge of worry doesn't mean you're failing (it means you care)
- What kids really need to develop compassion and gratitude (it's not lectures or gratitude jars)
- The one experience that shaped who I am (and how it can shape your child too)
- What to say when your child acts entitled or ungrateful (scripts for in-the-moment and bigger conversations)
- One thing you can do (eventually, not this week) that teaches more than 100 lectures
