My oldest just turned 9 and I keep thinking to myself, “Where did the time go??”
I remember when they were toddlers. I had 2 under 2 and those years felt endless.
Every day was exhausting, relentless, survival mode. I couldn't wait for them to be more independent.
To dress themselves, make their own snacks, play without constant supervision.
Now they can do all of that and even help their little brother! They're funny and interesting and capable. They read chapter books, have complex questions, and can debate me on why they should get more screen time.
Honestly, I feel a lot of relief because this stage IS easier in a lot of ways. So much easier than those early years.
Yet, that's exactly what scares me.
Somewhere between the relief of not having to wipe butts anymore (for them at least!) and the chaos of managing school schedules and activities, I’ve realized: I'm in danger of going on autopilot during what might be the sweetest, most important stage of their childhood.
To be completely honest, especially since having my son 3 years ago, I have been on autopilot for a lot of it.
Everyone talks about the baby years, the terrible twos, the threenager phase, the teenage rebellion. But middle childhood, ages 6-10, feels like the forgotten in-between that we all collectively decide is "fine" because kids are finally more independent. They’re busy in school and wrapped up in friendships and extracurriculars.
As a psychologist, I know middle childhood is critical.
This is the bridge to adolescence. This is when your child's identity is forming. This is when they're deciding whether you're a safe person to come to when life gets hard, or whether they need to figure things out on their own.
I’m writing this newsletter as a reminder (to myself, too) not to spend these important years on autopilot.
After reading this newsletter, you'll understand:
- Why your "big kid" suddenly acts defiant, sassy, or lies to you (and what unmet need is driving that behavior)
- The two mistakes parents make at this age that accidentally push kids away (right when connection matters most for adolescence)
- The 6 hidden needs your 6-10 year old can't articulate (but will communicate through homework battles, sibling conflicts, and attitude)
- How to stay emotionally present during the "easier" years (without going on autopilot and missing this sweet window)
- What happens when we get this stage wrong (and why the stakes are higher than most parents realize)
Let’s discuss!
