Header Logo
Log In
← Back to all posts

I Changed One Thing About Bedtime (And Everything Got Easier)

by Dr. Jazmine
Nov 17, 2025
Connect with TMP

Last Saturday, I started my toddler's bedtime routine around 4 PM. We went upstairs for bath time. At first, he didn't want to take a bath.

"NO BATH!" he screamed.

So I leaned into what he loves: CARS. "What cars need a car wash today?" I asked. Immediately, he grabbed his blue airplane (yes, the airplane needed a car wash too, apparently) and climbed into the tub. We played with his cars in the water. He had a blast. We only got out because he had a poop accident, which was hard for him because I could tell he wanted to get back in.

I used his accident to transition to the next task: Pajamas. He got frustrated, likely still dealing with the disappointment of abruptly leaving the bathtub where we were both having so much fun. So I wrestled him into his diaper because that was non-negotiable (I didn't want any more accidents), but then I stopped there. I didn't wrestle him into his pajamas. I let him go. I kept the pajamas out, but I let him decide when to put them on.

Eventually, he decided he wanted to put them on.

I've realized with my son that it's best when things are HIS idea. So I praised him: "Good idea. Let's put on your pajamas. Now you're all warm and cozy!" Then we played. Hot wheels, car races, rescue missions, tackle, rough housing, puzzles, blocks - whatever he wanted. I focused on following his lead.

The whole routine, from start to finish too about two hours.

I was thinking the other day about how it feels like I'm walking on eggshells around my toddler at bedtime. At any moment, he could erupt and get upset and flat-out refuse, especially because he's tired. He's exhausted by the time bedtime rolls around (he dropped naps several months ago), so his emotions are up and down, and there are so many tasks to get done: bath, diaper, lotion, teeth, pajamas, reading, going to bed.

Here's what you'll learn in this issue:

  • Why your child's evening volatility isn't bad behavior. It's actually their nervous system trying to make the biggest transition of the day
  • The surprising reason rushing bedtime makes it take LONGER (and feel worse for everyone)
  • How to measure bedtime "success" in a way that doesn't depend on your child being calm or compliant
  • Specific ways to mix play into routine tasks so you're not adding time, just shifting the energy
  • Why making bedtime easier on YOU (not just your child) is the most powerful shift you can make

This post is for paying subscribers only

Upgrade

Already have an account? Log in

The Two Choices That Stopped Working (And What Your Kid Is Actually Telling You)
One of my TMP Times members wrote in about her 4.5 year old son. She'd been trying the two-choices script (i.e., β€œYou have two choices - blue jacket or red one, this shirt or that one”), and he wasn't having it. She wrote: "He 'sees through' that and realizes that there is a decision behind that that I took. And I understand that, I get annoyed by that tactic myself when sales people are tryi...
When "No Screens" Is The Only Thing That Works
The one thing that moves your kid, the guilt of pulling it, and what summer does to make it worse. It's June. School's out, there's no schedule, no real plan for the day, and somehow it's only 2 in the afternoon. You handed him the iPad a while ago because you needed 20 minutes to yourself, and 20 turned into a lot more than you meant. Now you need him to actually do something, get dressed, g...
Why Your Kids Fight All Summer (And the Half of the Fix No One Talks About)
"Mine! That's MINE!" He's 3, and the floaty is technically his. He carried it all the way in from the car very proudly, the large plastic device nearly bigger than him. Once we finally arrived at the pool, he set it down to get his sunscreen on and shoes off. In those 4 seconds of putting it down, which, in his sister's defense, looked a lot like he was done with it, she picked it up. But as ...

Join Our Free Trial

Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.