Header Logo
Log In
← Back to all posts

I Changed One Thing About Bedtime (And Everything Got Easier)

by Dr. Jazmine
Nov 17, 2025
Connect with TMP

Last Saturday, I started my toddler's bedtime routine around 4 PM. We went upstairs for bath time. At first, he didn't want to take a bath.

"NO BATH!" he screamed.

So I leaned into what he loves: CARS. "What cars need a car wash today?" I asked. Immediately, he grabbed his blue airplane (yes, the airplane needed a car wash too, apparently) and climbed into the tub. We played with his cars in the water. He had a blast. We only got out because he had a poop accident, which was hard for him because I could tell he wanted to get back in.

I used his accident to transition to the next task: Pajamas. He got frustrated, likely still dealing with the disappointment of abruptly leaving the bathtub where we were both having so much fun. So I wrestled him into his diaper because that was non-negotiable (I didn't want any more accidents), but then I stopped there. I didn't wrestle him into his pajamas. I let him go. I kept the pajamas out, but I let him decide when to put them on.

Eventually, he decided he wanted to put them on.

I've realized with my son that it's best when things are HIS idea. So I praised him: "Good idea. Let's put on your pajamas. Now you're all warm and cozy!" Then we played. Hot wheels, car races, rescue missions, tackle, rough housing, puzzles, blocks - whatever he wanted. I focused on following his lead.

The whole routine, from start to finish too about two hours.

I was thinking the other day about how it feels like I'm walking on eggshells around my toddler at bedtime. At any moment, he could erupt and get upset and flat-out refuse, especially because he's tired. He's exhausted by the time bedtime rolls around (he dropped naps several months ago), so his emotions are up and down, and there are so many tasks to get done: bath, diaper, lotion, teeth, pajamas, reading, going to bed.

Here's what you'll learn in this issue:

  • Why your child's evening volatility isn't bad behavior. It's actually their nervous system trying to make the biggest transition of the day
  • The surprising reason rushing bedtime makes it take LONGER (and feel worse for everyone)
  • How to measure bedtime "success" in a way that doesn't depend on your child being calm or compliant
  • Specific ways to mix play into routine tasks so you're not adding time, just shifting the energy
  • Why making bedtime easier on YOU (not just your child) is the most powerful shift you can make

This post is for paying subscribers only

Upgrade

Already have an account? Log in

When You and Your Partner Don't Parent the Same Way
The wrong snack was all it took. One minute she was fine, and the next, she wasn’t. She was yelling, shoving her brother, and deaf to anything either parent said to her. A TMP Times member described this exact afternoon to me a while back, her sweet, easygoing 7-year-old turning into someone she barely recognized within minutes of walking through the door. If it helps to name it: this isn't y...
"Is Something Wrong With My Kid?" (The Question Every Parent Ask Themselves)
My son is currently going through a phase where snakes, sharks, and owls are all the first things he says when he meets new people. “Snakes are hunters. Owls are predators.” Not "I like sharks" but they are predators, and “snakes bite with venom and squeeze.” He loves to act it out, too. Open his mouth real wide and pretend to bite you, give you a real strong hug like he’s squeezing you, and ...
He said “I'm overwhelmed” I Didn't Fix It.
It's an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, just me and my 3-year-old. We had the playroom all to ourselves (which almost never happens!). He's got his marble maze tower out. It’s the one where you snap plastic pieces together into these winding paths so a marble can drop, loop, and land somewhere at the bottom. Typically what tends to happen is either I, my husband or our two daughters build the tow...

Join Our Free Trial

Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.