I know the holidays can feel overwhelming when you're trying to manage multiple children's needs, especially with all the extra excitement, disrupted routines, and heightened emotions that come with this season.
Just the other day, a mom shared how her heart broke watching her oldest become increasingly upset as relatives showered attention on the new baby.
"I spend more time managing jealousy and competition than actually enjoying our time together," she sighed.
I hear this so much - and I want you to know that if you're struggling with sibling dynamics right now, you're not alone.
The truth is, the holiday season often amplifies normal sibling challenges in ways that can leave us feeling exhausted and unsure. When routines are disrupted and there's more opportunity for comparison (like with gifts and attention from relatives), even the closest siblings can start showing more challenging behaviors.
In this week's newsletter, you'll learn:
- The hidden emotional dynamics driving sibling rivalry during the holidays
- Practical strategies to help each child feel valued and secure
- Specific scripts and solutions for common holiday challenges
Part 1: The Hidden Reasons Behind Holiday Sibling Rivalry
When children compete for attention or get upset about seemingly "unfair" treatment, they're really trying to tell us something important.
They're asking: "Do you see me? Am I still special? Do I matter?"
Children often act out not because they're trying to be difficult, but because they're trying to get their needs met in the only way they know how.
Part 2: 3 Practical Solutions for Holiday Sibling Harmony
Tip 1: Build Individual Connections First
The most important thing - and I really want you to hear this - is that preventing sibling rivalry isn't about treating everyone exactly the same. It's about making sure each child feels individually valued and seen.
Research shows that when parents build strong bonds with their children, siblings get along much better. A recent study found that children who feel close to their parents are less likely to compete with their brothers and sisters.
Let me say that again - when parents spent dedicated time with each child, sibling conflict decreased by 50%!
Of course, conflict is a part of every healthy relationship (so we’re never going to decrease it by 100%), but it’s important to realize as parents that sibling rivalry and competition reduces the more each child feels connected to their attachment figures (aka you!).
So here's how we can put this research into practice with some meaningful one-on-one holiday activities that strengthen your connection with each child:
