I once worked with a dad - letā€™s call him Amir - who was getting daily emails from his son's teacher. His previously well-behaved 5-year-old had suddenly become the kid who was pushing, hitting, and telling everyone he didn't want to be at school.
Amir was exhausted. His family had just moved to a new community, new school, new everything. And now his son Kai, who used to love school, was having daily meltdowns and aggressive episodes. The teacher was sending home behavior reports. Amir was spending his mornings wondering if today would be another "bad day."
He came to me asking for behavior strategies. How do I get him to stop hitting? What consequences should we use? How do I work with the teacher on a behavior plan?
But as Amir kept talking, something became clear. This wasn't really a behavior problem. This was grief.
When I told him that his son sounded like a sad kid who was grieving, he started to tear up. Because suddenly it all made sense.
The refusal to leave the house.
The constant "this isn't our old neighborhood" comments.
The clinginess that was so unlike him.
After reading this newsletter, you'll understand:
- Why your "well-behaved" child suddenly seems defiant after big changes
- How to recognize when behavior problems are actually grief in disguise
- The exact words to say that help your child feel understood instead of controlled
- Why punishment doesnā€™t work for grief-driven behavior
- Simple daily strategies to help your child process loss without overwhelming yourself
Letā€™s dive in!
