Why Some Kids Melt Down at Drop Off (And Others Don't)


"Every morning, it's the same thing," Priya told me during our coaching call, and I could hear that familiar exhaustion in her voice that so many parents carry. "Zara stands in the preschool line, looks at me with this little smirk, and says 'I don't want to go to school today' in this sad voice. Then she runs after me when I try to leave."
You know what Priya described next? The whole routine so many of us know by heart. The "I don't want to go" complaints, the chasing, saying goodbye five times while the teacher waits patiently and other parents walk by with kids who just march right into their classrooms like it's no big deal.
"The thing is, she loves school once she's there," Priya continued. "Her teacher always says she has a great day, plays with friends, does everything. But those mornings... I feel like everyone's watching us struggle while their kids just walk right in."
I totally get what Priya was going through because I lived it too. My oldest daughter went through this exact same thing in kindergarten. She'd be completely fine all morning - getting dressed, eating breakfast, chatting about her day. Then we'd get to that classroom door and it was like a switch flipped. The crying, the clinging, the "please don't leave me" that just broke my heart every single time I had to walk away.
And you know what? It made me feel terrible. Like I was failing her somehow. Like I should have been able to prevent this or fix it faster.
After reading this, you'll understand:
- Why your child's dropoff struggles aren't about your parenting skills
- The real reason some kids fall apart while others skip right in
- Exactly what to say when your child melts down in front of other families
- How your own stress might be feeding the cycle (and how to break it)
- Why sometimes the environment matters more than any technique you try
Let’s dive in!