Here's something that might surprise you: Those moments when your child is melting down, hitting their sibling, or completely defying you?
Those aren't actually your teachable moments.
I know this goes against everything we've been taught about parenting, but stick with me.
Think about the last time you were really upset - maybe in a heated argument with your partner.
How well did it go when they tried to "teach" you a better way to communicate right then?
Not great, right?
Our kids' brains work the same way.
Let me break this down in a way that will completely change how you think about challenging behaviors.
It's like their thinking brain has gone offline.
Think of it this way - imagine trying to install new software on your computer while it's crashing. That wouldn't work, right? You need to get the system stable first.
I see this play out all the time in my work with families.
A child hits their sibling, and the parent immediately jumps in with "We don't hit! How would you feel if someone hit you?" The child either melts down further or gives a blank stare, and the parent feels even more frustrated because "they know better!"
Here's what's actually happening:
