Header Logo
Log In
← Back to all posts

Why Your "Teachable Moments" Might Be Making Things Worse

by Dr. Jazmine
Feb 10, 2025
Connect with TMP

Here's something that might surprise you: Those moments when your child is melting down, hitting their sibling, or completely defying you?

Those aren't actually your teachable moments.

I know this goes against everything we've been taught about parenting, but stick with me.

Think about the last time you were really upset - maybe in a heated argument with your partner.

How well did it go when they tried to "teach" you a better way to communicate right then?

Not great, right?

Our kids' brains work the same way.

Let me break this down in a way that will completely change how you think about challenging behaviors.

It's like their thinking brain has gone offline.

Think of it this way - imagine trying to install new software on your computer while it's crashing. That wouldn't work, right? You need to get the system stable first.

I see this play out all the time in my work with families.

A child hits their sibling, and the parent immediately jumps in with "We don't hit! How would you feel if someone hit you?" The child either melts down further or gives a blank stare, and the parent feels even more frustrated because "they know better!"

Here's what's actually happening:

This post is for paying subscribers only

Upgrade

Already have an account? Log in

When Your Child Asks โ€œAre We All Going to Die?โ€ (And 9 Other Questions You Need Scripts For)
Two years ago this week, I lost my mother to cancer. She was just shy of 63. When I had to tell my daughters their grandma died, I was so grateful we'd already talked about death. They had a foundation. They understood what "died" meant. They knew bodies stop working. They knew it was OK to be sad. It was still incredibly hard navigating those conversations while drowning in my own grief, and...
Don't Let Your Babies Go (Why 6-10 Year Olds Need You More Than You Think)
My oldest just turned 9 and I keep thinking to myself, โ€œWhere did the time go??โ€ I remember when they were toddlers. I had 2 under 2 and those years felt endless. Every day was exhausting, relentless, survival mode. I couldn't wait for them to be more independent. To dress themselves, make their own snacks, play without constant supervision. Now they can do all of that and even help their lit...
5 Phrases That Sound Like Backtalk But Are Actually Healthy Communication
Keisha came to the group coaching call exhausted. Her 6-year-old daughter Maya had started pushing back on everything. At breakfast, when Keisha said no more screen time, Maya crossed her arms and said, "That's not fair! You're on your phone all the time!" Keisha felt her face get hot. In her house growing up, that kind of comment would have earned a swift punishment. You didn't talk to adult...

Join Our Free Trial

Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.