One of you sent in a question a few weeks ago that I think many of you reading this can relate to,
She described her 8-year-old daughter as fiercely independent, full of life, and expressive. She’s the kind of kid who sings while she does everything, and her mom loves that about her. The problem is that her daughter presents very differently at home than school. At school, she's thriving. She’s focused, responsible, and well-liked by both her peers and her teachers.
Yet, at home, it’s a different story. She needs constant reminders about every day things like holding on to the swing while she’s playing outside, staying at the table while eating, staying focused while brushing her teeth (instead of singing and dancing). She even needs reminders to put her shoes on, put her backpack away, and keep her hands to herself at the store. Every single day, it’s the same reminders and the same response from her, "Oops, I forgot."
Mom has tried natural consequences. She does daily one-on-one play where her daughter leads and bosses her around in imagination land. They eat dinner together every night. She has put in the work and nothing seems to be getting through to her daughter.
"It feels like every day is a new day and she's never heard these rules before."
If you can relate to standing in your kitchen at 5:30pm thinking why does this keep happening, I have said this a thousand times! - this issue is for you.
After reading this issue, you'll know:
- Why your capable, thriving kid seems to "forget" every rule the moment she walks in the door (and why it's probably not what you think)
- Four possible explanations worth considering (and how to figure out which one fits your family)
- Why trying to fix everything at once is the thing keeping you stuck in reminder-land
- How to have one honest conversation with your child that can actually start to shift the pattern
- The two questions to ask yourself before you repeat a reminder for the 4th time
- Exactly what to say in the moment when you're depleted, she's not listening, and you need the behavior to stop right now
